Nabisco Oreo Peeps
I’ve always enjoyed Peeps for the marshmallowy sugar bomb that they are. If it’s adorable, it can’t be bad for you right? In either baby chick or bunny form, there isn’t anything cuter that’s 81% sugar by weight. Of course in my bat infested belfry, it’s the nightmare fuel they become when irradiated that really makes these a uniquely enjoyable treat. Their Cthulian transformation from candy kawaii into a horrifying blob of liquified marshmallon viscera after a few seconds in the microwave is morbidly fascinating. Unfortunately, none of that is applicable to the Oreoified Oreo Peeps version of them.
Returning this year, Peeps: The Next Generation integrate bas-relief carvings of Bugs and Daffy unlike 2017’s spin. Also, while the Oreoginal Series Oreo Peeps cookie sandwiched a neon pink creme between golden wafers, 2018’s Orenterprise-D has gone to the dark side with a chocolate wafer and purple creme. Tenuous portmanteaus and inappropriately mixed scifi properties aside, not so inquiring minds want to know, has the taste changed? Unearthing a package of 2017’s pink and gold Oreo Peeps from the back of the freezer, I conducted a bit of my kind of science, the fatty kind, and tried one of each.
Some will be thrilled to learn that these are indeed a different cookie beyond the simple change in wafer. Although the brilliant touch of sugary grit is still present, the Purple Peeps factory churns out a much more mellow and less harsh creme o’ mallow. Perhaps some of the edge is taken off by the more bitter chocolate wafer, but a less acrid cookie sort of defeats the premise of an Oreo Peeps. That should please most people who don’t like Peeps, but if you don’t like avian shaped marshmallow to begin with, why buy these? The golden wafered neon pink treat is more authentic to the Walter White-esque chemical laden party in your mouth that animalistic marshmallow treats are in their Pink Sky form.
Look, no one has ever eaten a Peep with knife and fork, pinky out, while adopting a pretentious British accent as they drone on about its sophisticated and subtle flavor profile. This is ‘Merca damn it, and I want to taste the chemical cocktail as it garrotes my violently thrashing taste buds like a Dexter guest star. In the end if you don’t like Peeps, you’ll probably be more into 2018 Right Peeps Oreo factory take but still not fall in love. If you liked the Left Factory’s golden Oreo Peeps, then you won’t like the new one’s as much, but they are still enjoyable. Either way, this is a peep show I’m into.
Purple Peep’s Factory Chompiness: 7 Jedi-Klingon’s out of 10
Yellow Peep’s Factory Chompiness: 8 R2-Data’s out of 10