Animal Crossing Assassin's Creed Logo

Assassin’s Crossing: Isulation

There isn’t much time, so I’ll be direct. I am an assassin. A member of a secret order dedicated to peace and freedom. I was sent to a remote village to discover the fate of an agent who had gone dark while investigating rumors of a precursor artifact. But I fell through the same damn Looking Glass he did. Shit, that isn’t really an exaggeration because in this place, talking rabbits are just the tip of the LSDberg.

Arrival Animal Crossing Assassin's Creed

In what I can only assume is some insane bad sci-fi movie plot hatched by Templars, they have enslaved a race of mutants, aliens, or who the hell knows what. Oh right, the Templars. These bag of dicks are shadowy figures who seek to bring their sick idea of peace and order to the world by subjugating the “unenlightened masses.” By imposing their “benevolent” dictatorial will on those they see beneath them, they intend to save humanity from itself. In this case, I’m guessing they’ve found a Piece of Eden that’s brought everyone under their control but also changed them physically. Basically, everyone is a damn animal.

 

 

Not figuratively.

 

Literally.

Godswood Welcome Animal Crossing Assassin's Creed

I thought at first it was a cult of extreme furries, but now, I’m not so sure. There’s only a handful of humans that I’ve run into, and not a single person has even hinted at knowing the agent I was sent to extract. I don’t know if something is turning people into animals or if these Hannibal Barbera fucks use them as a food source. I know right? Think Bigfoot meets ALF except we are on Melmac and they are fresh out of cats.

 

Whoever is behind this, they clearly don’t want word getting out. There’s only one point of access that’s under constant surveillance via a train that is policed both onboard and at the gate. They’re jamming communications too, but I think I’ve found a hole I can exploit which is how I hope you are reading this. If not, well I guess I’ll get to keep that journal I always meant to as a kid.

 

I can only send short transmissions sporadically, and I just have to hope this is finding its way into the right hands. If it isn’t, I can’t be any deeper into the Delta Quadrant without a DHD, so what do I have to lose? I’ll pass along my observations of the inhabitants movements, dossiers on the suspected Templar hierarchy, and any other pertinent information I can find. If there is any hint of a connection to the Isu here, I will do my best to find it. But I’m alone in some bizarre realm that makes my animus training look like as mundane as a 9 to 5 bank teller. We’re talking some fucking Twilight Zone Sesame Street cross Jonestown ass shitshow.

 

If you are reading this, it may be up to you. You need to find a way to make contact with my order and pass along this information. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you are my only hope. Ok, that was lame as shit. But seriously, the fate of everything and everyone you love and even those you fucking hate rests in your hands.

 

No pressure.