Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch – REVIEW

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch
Clearly I’ve been nice this year.

 

I missed Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch during it’s first magical run in 2014 and 2015. People’s reverence for it bordered on mason jar full of toenail clipping levels of creepiness. Now I have the chance to rectify this crime against my taste buds as It’s back for this holiday season! The box art appears to be the same, and it’s merilly magnificent. I’m a sucker for holiday packaging, and the adorable Crazy Squares decked out in santa hats and rocking stockings for pants are right up my alley. It almost makes me feel bad that I’m about to embark on a milky quest to purge this world of Crazy Square kind. Almost.

You see, Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is amazing. Dry, it is every bit as good as it’s supporters purport. It puts all of the other bakery based treats like the good Capn’s or Kellogg’s takes that I’ve tried to shame. With General Mills jacking into my small and easily pliable mind (explaining why I’ve indulged my wife’s borderline crazy cat lady status) the only thing I can think of is a sugar cookie light on the sugar.

A less sugary, sugar cookie might sound like a faux pas, but it works very well in Toast Crunch form. Whereas the OG bah humbug Cinnamon Toast Crunch is drenched in hyper sweet deliciousness, Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is a bit more restrained. It’s what I envision Santa’s milk mate of choice would taste like if last minute Nice List bribes were placed out the morning after I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Milk certainly changes the flavor, but I found I preferred it dry as leche leeches some of the magic and sweetness—at least in my nut based milk experiments. Meanwhile, it makes a fantastic greek yogurt mix-in, and a peanut buttered toast companion imparts a bit of a peanut butter cookie vibe. I guess 1+1 does equal 2. There’s that college degree paying off again

Take it from a man who crumbled Oreo’s into a bowl and doused them in milk before Oreo O’s rebirth, this is a more socially acceptable way to eat cookies for breakfast. In fact, I will share the uncomfortably warm take that Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is superior to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Will you agree? Maybe, but it’s worth trying even if you give me the same incredulous look my wife did from beneath her purring blanket. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to look into vacuum sealing cereal in case it’s another few years before I see my beloved toast shaped cookies again.


 

The Chomp: Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch

Chompiness: 9 bowls of Santa who looks kinda like the neighbor bribes out of 10

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Dairy Queen Fall Blizzard Menu

Dairy Queen Dipped Strawberry with Ghirardelli Blizzard
Dairy Queen Dipped Strawberry with Ghirardelli Blizzard

Dairy Queen is coming at me with razor blades in candy apples this Fall. With both the season itself and Halloween topping the charts of their respective lists in my book, their Fall Blizzard Menu is threatening to turn me into the jolly old fat guy who goes boo, boo, boo. In addition to the Dipped Strawberry with Ghirardelli Blizzard pictured above, the classic Pumpkin Pie Blizzard, and delectable Oreo Hot Coca Blizzard return alongside the new Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard. Combined with August’s lingering Reese’s Outrageous Blizzard, I have to remember not to wear orange to any parties, or I’ll end up with a fate worse than Charlie Browns.

 

Pumpkin Pie Blizzard Dairy Queen Full
Pumpkin Pie Blizzard Dairy Queen

 

 

Oreo Hot Cocoa Blizzard Dairy Queen

 

Spoon 2 Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard Dairy Queen
Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard Dairy Queen

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Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard Dairy Queen – QUICK REVIEW

Spoon 2 Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard Dairy Queen

The Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard featuring, what else, snickerdoodle cookie dough and cinnamon sugar is the sole new offering on the DQ Fall Blizzard. While I may drop it to waivers for higher upside flavors, at least I have the phenomenal Pumpkin Pie and Oreo Hot Cocoa to comfort me post Le’veon Bell pick shower cry. Find out all the details about this respectable treat over at The Impulsive Buy and watch this Hard Mocks season preview to see how I got in appropriately dough-like shape for this fantasy football season.  (more…)

Assassin’s Crossing Isulation: Sitrep III Nook’s and Crannies

Sitrep III: Nook’s and Crannies

After leaving the dog’s den, I made for the wrong side of the tracks. Well, the other side of the tracks anyway. “Nook’s Homes” appeared to have perhaps a bit of a seedy look tucked between the sigh “Club lol” and the post office. Ignoring the den of depravity and disease and not wanting to have my not-so-funny bone tickled, I beat feet for the door.

If I wasn’t sure before, I’m sure now that I’m being watched like a school girl in in a pervy pachinko parlor. The question is, was Nook informed by Isabelle or someone else? If Isabelle narced, why would Nook be say so? It would only make sense it were someone else. Unless of course he wanted to throw me off the trail in case I suspected anything because obviously it couldn’t be Isabelle if he was giving me her name. Fortunately, I’ve spent years building up an immunity to Iocane powder.

No more time now, but if you missed my last entry you can find it here or start from the beginning here.

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Beef-A-Roo Pink Flamingo Monster Shake REVIEW

 

Pink Flamingo Monster Shake Close
Steven Tyler was right.

If my wife had her way, our yard would be covered in the largest flock of plastic flamingos this side of a geriatric Floridian trailer park. Fortunately, I can soothe the gauche beast (love ya babe!) with Beef-A-Roo’s newest limited time summer offering, the Pink Flamingo Monster Shake. A strawberry flavored milkshake is blended with raspberry fruit chunks, topped with whipped cream, vanilla wafer cookies, pound cake and, be still my heart, a red velvet cake pop. Oh, and a mini plastic flamingo!

While the Blue Unicorn Monster Shake is mythically pretty, the Pink Flamingo is more impressive. It doesn’t embody the body of its namesake as the Blue Unicorn does. Of course when I mentioned it, my wife looked at me like I had told her Jar Jar Binks is a better character than Chewie—ymmv. Even if you don’t find yourself intently milkshake cloud gazing like me, we all know that taste is where the monster is made. I’m pleased to say that this is where the Pink Flamingo sets itself apart from its horned equine brethren.

Beef-A-Roo kindly sent me a gift card as I was underwhelmed with the Blue Unicorn, and its use in testing the Pink Flamingo was well spent. The strawberry dipped in whipped cream and shake base are predictably delicious. But who reads a review of a monster shake adorned with 15 kinds of man made sugar to find out how the whole fruit tastes? Sure as hell not me.

I was pleased to discover the sugar wafers were not soggy this time and complimented the shake swimmingly. It makes me wonder if I received cookies past their prime last time. Unfortunately, the main draw for me had me seeing red as the cake ball is a bit of a disappointment. It is by no means bad, but the coating is unremarkable and the red velvet cake itself is rather dry and somewhat muted in flavor. The ice cream provides needed moisture when dipped, but it doesn’t otherwise enhance the experience.

The other and much more substantial cake slices on the other hand save the day. For those in the audience that aren’t as slow on the uptake as yours truly, the pound cake married with the base and whipped cream perfectly capture strawberry shortcake in shake form. It is a stroke of monster mash-up genius.

 

Pink Flamingo Monster Shake Full
I really hope that’s just syrup underneath his tail feathers…

 

The Pink Flamingo turns a simple concept into a unique, tacky plastic ornamented monstrous delight. While pricey at $6.99, pink is the color of love for this flamingo themed treat even if it didn’t make me break out into song like the Pink Donut cereal.

 


*I was provided a gift I used to purchase this shake after I was disappointed with the Blue Unicorn. It did not influence my review.

The Chomp: Beef-A-Roo Pink Flamingo Monster Shake ($6.99 for the smallest size)

Chompiness: 8 lawn loitering plastic avians out of 10

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