Cereal Peanut Butter: Easy Homemade Cereal Infused PB

Cereal Peanut Butter

Cereal Peanut Butter Reese's Puffs 3

I’m a man with many loves, but chief among them are peanut butter and breakfast cereals. This Peanut Butter Cereal recipe is something I’m ashamed to admit I did not think of on my own. The joining of socially acceptable breakfast candy with the Legume of the Gods seems like a hole in my life that needs filling. Well ladies and gentleman, that ends today!

Well, not today because I already did this a few days ago. Otherwise a future me will have to travel back in time to give past me pictures before I make this. Clearly it would also mean I will suffer severe head trauma as I didn’t provide past me with lottery numbers. Otherwise, I’d be dictating this to my servants dressed as Bikini Bottom residents in my giant subsea pineapple house. Musings on my failings as a time traveler aside, let’s get back to why my fat ass is really here. The holy union between two of humankind’s greatest achievements. Breakfast cereal and peanut butter. I first learned of the best thing since Reese’s met Pieces from Junkbanter when he shared the delightful concept from Peanut Principle. While I appreciate the inspiration, my Scrooge McKrabb’s card would be revoked if I dropped 8 simoleons on a jar. If you do not sleep on Wario bedsheets and would rather just buy your own, you can find Peanut Principle’s fare here. As I’ve made my own peanut butter before, I figured how hard can it be? Turns out it so easy even Mario dressed like a caveman can do it!

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal Peanut Butter

Cereal Peanut Butter Cinnamon Toast Crunch 2

Ingredients

Scale up or down for your desired amount.

  • Dry Roasted Salted peanuts 120g ( feel free to substitute nut of choice)
  • Cinnamon Toast Crunch 20g
  • Cinnamon 5g (or to taste)
  • Vanilla 6g (or to taste)
  • Sugar (to taste, any sweetener or none at all will work)
  • Peanut Oil (can be omitted completely or used to achieve desired consistency)

Cereal Peanut Butter Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Directions

  1. Throw the desired amount of peanuts in the food processor and turn that sucker on high for 60 seconds or so.
  2. Once you have the beginning of what appears to be butterfied peanuts, toss all of your desired mix-ins into the processor on high. I needed about 3 minutes total, but I like my peanut butter thick and gritty. Not unlike DC’s latest reboot starring Mr. Peanut, The Dark Nut Rises…
  3. Process until you are happy with the consistency, and if desired, you can add peanut oil to produce a smoother, creamier result. I added my Cinnamon Toast Crunch right at the end. I only pulsed it a few times as chunky isn’t just what my snarky scale calls me every morning. If you prefer a smoother and more dispersed flavor, you’ll want to add yours earlier in the process.

Cereal Peanut Butter Cinnamon Toast Crunch 3

Unfortunately, I do not know how long this will stay fresh as I devoured it. I can say that after a week, the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Pieces did seem to be a little soggier but still held a decent crunch. I recommend a small batch if soggy pieces are a deal breaker for you. That said, if you are reading this, you probably share my addictions and this will not last long enough to go bad. It takes the best part of peanut butter and adds a subtle but consistent cinnamon flavor throughout. With my chunky version, it transitions to pockets of Cinnamon Toast Crunch punch with a salty, peanuty follow through. It makes a fantastic english muffin topping or peanut butter sandwich. The Cinnamon Toast Crunch acts as a sweetener and adds enough complexity that jelly or marshmallow is optional as it’s delicious on its own.

 

Reese’s Puff & Chocolate Cereal Peanut Butter

Cereal Peanut Butter Reese's Puffs 2

The Inception of the cereal peanut butter hybrid world is an amazing concept. While I had to do it, I went in knowing that this would probably not work.

And It didn’t.

It certainly doesn’t taste bad, but the Reese’s Puffs flavor is completely overwhelmed by, you know, actual, peanut butter. That said, this left me with Ghiradelli chocolate peanut butter, sooooo, I’m still going to call this one a win. Just know that the Reese’s Puffs can be safely omitted unless you are a sick, sick sea snail like me and just need to cross it off your Chum Bucket list.

Ingredients

Scale up or down for your desired amount.

  • Dry Roasted Salted Peanuts 120g (substitute nut of choice if desired)
  • Reese’s Puffs 20g
  • Semisweet Chocolate 15g
  • Sugar (to taste, any sweetener or none at all will work)
  • Peanut Oil (can be omitted completely or used to achieve desired consistency)

Cereal Peanut Butter Reese's Puffs

Directions

  1. Throw the desired amount of peanuts in the food processor and turn that sucker on high for 60 seconds or so.
  2. Once you have the beginning of what appears to be butterfied peanuts, toss all of your desired mix-ins into the processor on high. I needed about 3 minutes total, but I like my peanut butter thick and gritty. Not unlike DC’s latest reboot starring Mr. Peanut, The Dark Nut Rises…
  3. Process until you are happy with the consistency, and if desired, you can add peanut oil to produce a smoother, creamier result. I added the cereal at the end and only pulsed it a few times as chunky isn’t just what my snarky scale calls me every morning. If you prefer a smoother and more dispersed flavor,  you’ll want to add yours earlier in the process.

Yes, I just left the same lame jokes. Eventually I’ll wear you down.

 

Is That a Yoshi Egg in Your Question Block Cake, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Question Block Cake
Images courtesy of the amazing wildlifebycyrene

The Mushroom Kingdom is a magical place… minus the constant peril of kidnapping, being swallowed whole by ravenous dinosaurs, or literally being chased and vaporized by the sun— Idyllic.

 

That is until we threw a grad party for my sister as a showcase for the spinoff I’m pitching to the Food Network—Yan Sure as F*ck Can’t Cook. All this is to say, I know I suck. Case in my point, this Question Block cake.

Question Block Cake
A question block navel gazing is a whole new level of inception

My creations taste good, usually, but look at that thing! I’ve seen better looking orange chicken after a month in back-of-fridge purgatory. (As if orange chicken survives for longer than 5 minutes when I’m around; that shit is Ketracel-white deep-fried in Kasa oil.)

 

I share though because when I go looking for tasty or clever ideas, I have to wade through such captivating tales as little Billy’s potty training oopsy or William Shakespaw’s spa day at Shampoodles. Wouldn’t you rather see the result of a Food Network Challenge meets Darwin Award chock full of awful puns and dated pop culture references than read about toilet paper cozies?

 

I do this so for you, dear reader, so you can feel good about your product no matter how disastrous the finished good. Yeah, I do it on purpose, let’s go with that…

 

On to the menu:

 

  • Hot Yoshicoa: White chocolate melted and mixed into half and half with mint extract
  • Question Block Cake: A boxed yellow cake and tub frosting we adapted from Nerdy Nummies
  • Yoshi Egg Brownie Pop: A giant Oreo truffle-esque cream cheese brownie coated in almond bark and made to look like a Yoshi egg… if you are legally blind.

 

The party started with a round of Mario Kart: Shaun White edition… if you swap the karts for dollar store sleds clipped with hand decorated Super Mario character cards and Shaun White for a bunch of idiots incapable of staying on said sleds for more than a few seconds. So, basically, nothing at all like either of those things.

Question Block Cake
All art courtesy of my sister who painted them all by hand as a gift.

Question Block Cake Wario

Stage appropriately set, let’s talk cake. Now, you have to use your imagination a bit as I have the artistic ability and attention to detail of a kindergartener after five bowls of Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs bathed in Four Loko. But that’s all part of the hand crafted rustic charm! At least, that’s what I tell myself so I can continue being able to look in the mirror long enough to shave without having to shower cry afterward.

Question Block Cake

Despite the photographic evidence to the contrary, the focus was on the decoration and not the flavor. As this was for my sister who’s taste for lemon is inversely proportional to her love for Yoshi, we cheated with a boxed Betty Crocker Yellow Cake and yellow tub frosting and a pack of white fondant. Six 6×6 pans from 2 boxes and 2 tubs of frosting later, we had our base to work from. We free handed the cutting with a knife as is abundantly clear by the Block of Deleano Pilaza (wow that was awful, I’m leaving it). Anyone who has been appropriately horrified by my pumpkin carving would have predicted this result.

 

Coring and frosting the cakes was actually pretty simple despite my proclivity for screwing things up, and it did not take more than 15 minutes to assemble the cake. We cut question marks and blocks from fondant with the aid of a  printed 8×11 stencil, if you don’t treat your hand like an angry thwomp to Mario’s fondant face by pressing down as hard as you can, the paper won’t stick.

 

As for the coins in the original recipe, a Wario cake this is not. When a lady loves dinosaurs and brownies, you give her a f*cking pan of brownies injected with gobs of cream cheese all encased in white candy coating and bits of green candy melts for the finishing touch. You will not have a lot of room to work with if you decide to go with my Yoshi Egg surprise, so if you don’t plan ahead by dropping your food on the floor like me, you probably only need about half the pan. The rest should be promptly shoveled into your face like you’re auditioning for the lead role in a Fat Princess sequel. Brownie me please!

Question Block Cake Yoshi Egg Brownie

Protip: Save time cutting the bottom off of your brownies by not dropping them onto the floor!

 

Like A Bowser Protip: But if you do, you will quickly discover why dogs are man’s best friend because they will love you forever.

 

A word of warning, if I had to do it over again, I would not add the green candy melt chocolate after the bark hardened. As a couple of the dots fell off, I would add the green melts as I applied the bark coating. After the egg was finished, I propped it up and pooled bark at the base to create a stand. This proved to be the one intelligent thing I did in this process as it made standing the egg inside of the cake much easier. Quick insertion (that’s what she said) and a bit of a dome from the egg that was just a litttttlllleeeee too big (that’s what he said) and Bobomb’s your uncle, it was done.

Question Block Cake

One should not expect to cut the brownie with the cake, we gingerly removed it and sliced them separately. None of this was pretty, but it was as tasty as Luigi is lame— phenomenally.

 

If you attempt anything similar let me know, I’d love to hear how you didn’t screw it up!

Question Block Cake Wario Sled

I leave you with a video of the events that occured on the rainbow road of snowy hills…

(more…)

Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Cereal Milkshake Recipe

Flying Dutchman’s Frightful Delight

(Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Cereal Milkshake Recipe)

Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Milkshake Finished

In honor of the best holiday of the year, behold the spooky spectacle of a homemade Halloween Cap’n Crunch milkshake. Unfortunately, the Cap’ns gimmicky ghoulish green glow is lost once blended with ice cream, sans ecotplasm, but you can still taste the difference (not really). That aside, you may have seen me rave about the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Milkshake from Buger King, but I am here to not so humbly state that this homemade diabetes delight eats it for…

breakfast?

dessert?

how about, cleans its cinnamon clock?

Yeah, lets go with that.

Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Milkshake Soak

To be fair, with Graeters doing the heavy lifting in my cereal shake, comparing the two is about as fair as pitting a rancor against a poodle. Flying Dutchman’s Frightful Delight captures the purest essence of a cereal milkshake and is easily customizable with other cereal celebrities beyond the good Cap’n.

Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Milkshake Ingredients

Want to make your own?

Adapted from delish.com Cap’n Crunch Milkshakes

Ingredients:

 

  • 1 Cup (202 g) Vanilla ice cream or other ice cream of choice (this quantity can be adjusted to achieve desired consistency) (I used Graeters Madagascar Vanilla Bean and it was phenomenal)

 

  • .75 Cups (180ml) milk of choice (more or less depending on the desired consistency, I used cashew milk)

 

  • 1.5 Cup (52g) Cap’n crunch cereal of choice with some reserved for garnish (or just use more, there’s no such thing as too much cereal in my world)

 

  • 1/4 Cup (64g) creamy peanut butter (also consider another tablespoon or 15 grams or so melted to drizzle on top)

 

  • Whipped cream for topping if desired

 

Directions:

Pour the not so salty seaman’s delicious, and in this case spooky, booty into a container and send it to Davey Jone’s Locker (in other words, add milk). Soak for about an hour, giving the mixture a stir or shake a few times. I used my Ninja Blender and kept the same cup for the entire process.

Once you have a bowl of mush you wouldn’t actually eat, add it to your blender with ice cream and peanut butter. In theory, one could strain the milk and simply use that, discarding the soggy cereal. This is an offense that falls just shy of animal torture in my world, but you do you, I just don’t want to know about it.

Blend until smooth and add milk or ice cream until desired consistency is reached.

Pour into glasses and top with whipped cream, extra cereal (crushed or whole) and drizzle with melted peanut butter if you so desire.

Pledge your eternal soul to the Dutch’s crew for bringing you this deliciousness, and if you find his sock, don’t forgot to use your other two wishes wisely.