Quaker Oats Gingerbread Spice Life Cereal – Chibi Chomp

Quaker Oats Gingerbread Spice Life Cereal Box and Bowl

In daring his would be devourers to catch him, the Icarus of seasonal treats flew to close to the oven light on wings made from icing. Since the inception of breakfast cereal, he’s lived on stories of his athletic prowess. No mascot dared try, not cap’ns, leprechauns, nor even tigers. No, the Gingerbread man’s bluff was finally called by none other than the breakfast aisle figure head for honesty, integrity, purity and strength. Larry the Quaker man; the first cereal every to my knowledge to possess gingerbread flavor. Why Larry took it upon himself to capture and infuse his new limited edition Life Gingerbread Spice cereal with powdered bits of the cocky cookie, we may never know. What we do know is that humility will never make Larry’s list of virtues as he plasters the limited edition box with delightfully adorable trophies of his prey. I’m glad he is the boastful sort though as the box art is probably my of the year.

Unfortunately, beyond the first-of-its kind flavor and fantastic art, I have nothing nice to say.

To me, the cereal carries an astringent molasses flavor, and I swear it leaves a lingering aftertaste of cloves. Both important elements in gingerbread, but absent significantly more sweetness, a palate pleaser this is not.

I’m thrilled this product exists; I just hope someone takes the idea and does it better. You needn’t bother running from me Mr. Gingerbread because I for one won’t be giving chase.


Chompee: Quaker Oats Gingerbread Spice Life Cereal

Chompiness: 4 power walking gingerbread men out of 10

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Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms – Chomp

 

Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms Box Art

I may not love snow in reality but the fantastical flakes Lucky uses to season his bowl of magically delicious goodies are a welcome sugar snow storm. Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms are described as frosted cinnamon oat cereal with marshmallows. The marketing of this limited edition cereal is top notch as the winter wonderland depicted creates an inviting box. Kids gleefully play on snow covered hills beneath a rainbow bedecked sky while Lucky conducts a labor of love in producing snowman. All is not well in Luckyvale though as the man behind the curtain is revealed when taking a more than superficial look at this “wonderland”. We’ll revisit that in a moment, but how does the main dish fare?

Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms Box Art

Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms are not wildly different from the tried and true original. The cinnamon is barely detectable despite top billing, but the vanilla is more potent and adds a warm tone to every bite that works to create an almost creamy quality with the top of it’s class marbits. Original Lucky Charms are definitely a classic, but the flavor is fairly straightforward with oats and marshmallow fueled sugar. The addition of the vanilla and, unfortunately mild, cinnamon create a more complex and enjoyable overall flavor for my pot of gold. A little bit of a heavier hand with the cinnamon spice would have been nice, but at the end of the day if you put OG Lucky Charms and the new Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms in front of me, I’ll take the new holiday flavor 9 times out of 10. While perhaps not a revelatory experience, this holiday edition flavor is a welcome treat for the eyes and the mouth.

 

Now onto the clown in the sewer that is the nightmare fuel of this seemingly innocent box art. It seems safe enough, Lucky and some lucky kids are enjoying a day frolicking in the snow with a little leprechaun magic bringing their snow forged golems to life to play alongside them. What’s wrong with that?

 

Let’s take a look at the activities.

Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms Back of Box Art Kids

First up, match the scarves. Sure, color coordinating with your frozen flaked friend sounds like family friendly fun.

 

Alright, next Lucky tells us a “hilarious” joke? “If snowmen can’t take baths how do they keep clean? Snow showers!” Better leave the jokes to the bloggers who professionally suck at them Lucky.

 

So far so good, what’s the last activity? Oh, Lucky wants you to help him find the pieces he needs to bring his final snowman to life.

 

Roger that. Let’s see, there’s the 3 buttons, and there’s the four-leaf clover needed to work some holiday magic. Just need to find the two ey… holy mother of monsters what is that little girl doing with those eyes?!

Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms Back of Box Art Girl Juggling Eyeballs

These aren’t the cute coal constructs of your standard snowman, “Lilith” as we’ll call her is juggling snowballs mixed with human eyeballs! Please return your seatbacks to their full upright and locked position. Lucky the leprechaun has apparently been taking cues from his Warwick Davis counterpart while also enlisting the aid of the Children of The Corn. Examine the scene closer and the children are tormenting their supposed friends, playing keep away with their body parts or outright trying to murder them with a sled. All the while our Irish Jigsaw is using the body parts of his victims to work his dark magic and create snow fiends having apparently read Attack of the Killer Snow Goons one to many times. There’s even a sick snowy rendition of the headless horseman!

Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms Back of Box Art Girl Snowman Headless Horseman

What began as a scene of wonder and merriment has become a macabre Frankensteinien nightmare by using human body parts to provide the catalyst for some unholy leprechaun blood magic. To what end? A look at the bottom of the box reveals the horrific truth. Lucky is animating these snowmen from corpses and turning them into marbits. That’s right, Lucky Charms is people. Lucky the leprechaun has turned to blood magic and become the Walter White of the cereal aisle just to push a few more boxes of his “Rainbow Sky” Marshmeth.

Magically Delicious indeed.

 

Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms Back of Box Art Girl Snowman Sled

 


Chompee: Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms

 Chompiness: 8.5 Marshmeth Marbits out of 10

 

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Quaker Oats Chewy Snow Day Granola Bars Review

Quaker Oats Chewy Snow Day Granola Bars

Foil finish art is nerd crack, so Quaker Oats new Chewy Snowday Gingerbread Spice Granola bars were in my cart faster than the Flash heading for a bathroom after Chipotle. While enamored by the snowy slopes, I admit I have no idea what gingerbread men, snow days, skiing, and chewy junkfood preying on the granola health halo have to do with one another. Still, the glossy wrapper around each bar is a miniature version of the wonderland depicted on the box.

 

What about the trivial matter of taste? Unfortunately, the flavor isn’t quite as magical as the marketing campaign. The bars aren’t anywhere near as gooey as they appear on the box, but they do seem a bit more moist than the standard fare. Initially, they bring the standard granolaly (yes, I just made that a word) oat flavor with a bit of ginger. The ginger tantrically teases your taste buds though as it is unlocked by working your way through the corn syrupy chewiness. What began as merely a tease of ginger flavor ultimately leaves a lingering after taste. Fans of ginger will be thrilled, but it is powerful enough to be off putting for the less gingerecally (yeah, that’s right another!) inclined. We are talking Santa hatted Godzilla level breath after morbidly masticating an entire gingerbread ski lodge. The icing swirled on top seems to mellow the intense ginger spiciness somewhat, providing a bit of moistness and generic sweetness. That’s all these bring to the table though, none of the other familiar tastes seemed to have had school canceled as I could detect nary a trace of cloves, nutmeg or cinnamon.

 

I’m left a little out in the cold with the bars themselves, but as long as it’s outside the ski lodge accompanying glittery snow capped peaks on the wrapper, I’ll happily be devoured alongside my ginger breadthren by a demogorgon with a sweet tooth.


Chompee: Quaker Oats Chewy Snow Day Granola Bars

Chompiness: 7 demogorgon cavities out of 10

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Baskin Robbins Tiramisu Ice Cream Quick Review

Baskin Robbins Tiramisu

Do you wash your morning cup of Joe down with an espresso chaser? Then you’ll want to check out November’s flavor of the Month as the coffee flavor exercises as much subtlety as Trump’s Twitter account. How do the rest of the Tiramisu elements work and what the hell do either have to do with Bikini Bottom and plumbers that wield possessed hats? Not much really aside from a couple of lame jokes, but read my review over at The Impulsive Buy if you’re short on your eye roll quota for the day.

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Chocolate and Peanut Butter Cheerios Chomp

Chocolate and Peanut Butter Cheerios

 

I’m easy. Toss chocolate, peanut butter or the Holy Grail of chocolate AND peanut butter into your product, and you have my undivided attention; Attach it to an iconic cereal like Cheerios and I swoon. The end result of this match made in heaven tastes like the love child of Reese’s Puffs and classic Cheerios in a O shaped bundle of joy. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work for me.

 

I’ve enjoyed my flings with each of the parents individually over the years, and while I see them both as classics in their own right, neither is one of my favorites. These Chocolate and Peanut Butter Cheerios just don’t bring enough flavor in either department. Dry, I barely pick up on any chocolate and the peanut butter flavor isn’t artificial so much as too far aware from the genuine article for my liking evoking more of a peanut flour flavor than the peanut butter listed on the ingredient list. I found the powdery coating clinging to the cereal excessive at times to the point that it was a bit offputting. So much so, that I envision Smedley snorting these by the boxful in a demented Saturday morning cartoon Scarface reenactment. Milk didn’t save it for me as it seemed the faint chocolate flavor grew even dimmer and left me with an unsatisfying cereal milk finish.

 

While I didn’t dislike this new flavor, I also can’t find myself wanting to try it again. I love the concept- The offspring of Reese’s Puff getting an intimate look at the beloved Cheeri-”O” face, but if I’m in the mood for Cheerios, I’d reach for a plain box over this, and if I need a peanut butter and chocolate fix, give me Reese’s Puff every day of the week.


Chompee: Chocolate and Peanut Butter Cheerios

Chompiness: 6 Oaty “O” faces out of 10

Dairy Queen Candy Cane Chill Blizzard Review

Need to bribe your way off the naughty list? Santa will love the Dairy Queen Candy Cane Chill Blizzard. Because as a wise man once said, “life is short and hard like a bodybuilding elf, so you better be good for goodness sake lest Santa sends you to North Politentiary and you face minty death by candy cane stabbity, stabbity.”

You can find my full review over at The Impulsive Buy.

Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Milkshake

Flying Dutchman’s Frightful Delight

(Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Milkshake)

Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Milkshake Finished

In honor of the best holiday of the year, behold the spooky spectacle of a homemade Halloween Cap’n Crunch milkshake. Unfortunately, the Cap’ns gimmicky ghoulish green glow is lost once blended with ice cream, sans ecotplasm, but you can still taste the difference (not really). That aside, you may have seen me rave about the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Milkshake from Buger King, but I am here to not so humbly state that this homemade diabetes delight eats it for…

breakfast?

dessert?

how about, cleans its cinnamon clock?

Yeah, lets go with that.

Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Milkshake Soak

To be fair, with Graeters doing the heavy lifting in my cereal shake, comparing the two is about as fair as pitting a rancor against a poodle. Flying Dutchman’s Frightful Delight captures the purest essence of a cereal milkshake and is easily customizable with other cereal celebrities beyond the good Cap’n.

Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Milkshake Ingredients

Want to make your own?

Adapted from delish.com Cap’n Crunch Milkshakes

Ingredients:

 

  • 1 Cup (202 g) Vanilla ice cream or other ice cream of choice (this quantity can be adjusted to achieve desired consistency) (I used Graeters Madagascar Vanilla Bean and it was phenomenal)

 

  • .75 Cups (180ml) milk of choice (more or less depending on the desired consistency, I used cashew milk)

 

  • 1.5 Cup (52g) Cap’n crunch cereal of choice with some reserved for garnish (or just use more, there’s no such thing as too much cereal in my world)

 

  • 1/4 Cup (64g) creamy peanut butter (also consider another tablespoon or 15 grams or so melted to drizzle on top)

 

  • Whipped cream for topping if desired

 

Directions:

Pour the not so salty seaman’s delicious, and in this case spooky, booty into a container and send it to Davey Jone’s Locker (in other words, add milk). Soak for about an hour, giving the mixture a stir or shake a few times. I used my Ninja Blender and kept the same cup for the entire process.

Once you have a bowl of mush you wouldn’t actually eat, add it to your blender with ice cream and peanut butter. In theory, one could strain the milk and simply use that, discarding the soggy cereal. This is an offense that falls just shy of animal torture in my world, but you do you, I just don’t want to know about it.

Blend until smooth and add milk or ice cream until desired consistency is reached.

Pour into glasses and top with whipped cream, extra cereal (crushed or whole) and drizzle with melted peanut butter if you so desire.

Pledge your eternal soul to the Dutch’s crew for bringing you this deliciousness, and if you find his sock, don’t forgot to use your other two wishes wisely.

 

 

Dairy Queen Triple Truffle Blizzard

Triple Truffle Blizzard

 

The Triple Truffle Blizzard is Dairy Queen’s Blizzard of the Month for August and features fudge, caramel, and peanut butter truffles in vanilla soft serve. While advertised as blended with chocolate topping, apparently cocoa beans are in short supply because my Blizzard didn’t seem to contain any.
Triple Truffle Blizzard The feast begins with whole truffle pieces the size and shape of mini peanut butter cups. To get a feel for the flavors, I sampled each truffle flavor individually with ice cream before going for the ménage à truffle.

 

The only truffle that is not muted when eaten separately is the peanut butter variety. It is the best of the group (although I am a card carrying peanutbutteraholic), but it is quite salty and gritty. If that is not your idea of an enjoyable peanut butter experience, proceed with caution.
The caramel truffle is creamy and finishes with a deeper, burnt taste that is slightly reminiscent of coffee. The fudge truffle on the other hand can’t punch through the ice cream on its own despite a solid fudge flavor in the absence of competing elements.
 

Triple Truffle Blizzard

 

While none of them will be mistaken for a premium quality candy, each are enjoyable in their own way. That said, when multiple pieces find their way onto your spoon the Triple Truffle becomes, dare I say, three times as good. The peanut butter and caramel play particularly well together while the fudge lends a needed chocolaty boost.
Overall, despite a reasonable level of mix-ins, there are not enough of them in quantity or quality to serve as the only unique element to the accompanying vanilla soft serve. I can’t help but wonder if the whole package would have worked better with the advertised chocolate topping component that I missed out on.