Review: Oreo Peeps 2017 vs. 2018 Comparison

Nabisco Oreo Peeps

Oreo Peeps Package
Purple Peepsle Eater

I’ve always enjoyed Peeps for the marshmallowy sugar bomb that they are  If it’s adorable, it can’t be bad for you right? In either baby chick or bunny form, there isn’t anything cuter that’s 

81% sugar by weight. Of course in my bat infested belfry, it’s the nightmare fuel they become when irradiated that really makes these a uniquely enjoyable treat. Their Cthulian transformation from candy kawaii into a horrifying blob of liquified marshmallon viscera after a few seconds in the microwave is morbidly fascinating. Unfortunately, none of that is applicable to the Oreoified Oreo Peeps version of them.

Oreo Peeps Purple Factory
Two Peeps One Cookie

 

Returning this year, Peeps: The Next Generation integrate bas-relief carvings of Bugs and Daffy unlike 2017’s spin. Also, while the Oreoginal Series Oreo Peeps cookie sandwiched a neon pink creme between golden wafers, 2018’s Orenterprise-D has gone to the dark side with a chocolate wafer and purple creme. Tenuous portmanteaus and inappropriately mixed scifi properties aside, not so inquiring minds want to know, has the taste changed? Unearthing a package of 2017’s pink and gold Oreo Peeps from the back of the freezer, I conducted a bit of my kind of science, the fatty kind, and tried one of each.

 

Some will be thrilled to learn that these are indeed a different cookie beyond the simple change in wafer. Although the brilliant touch of sugary grit is still present, the Purple Peeps factory churns out a much more mellow and less harsh creme o’ mallow. Perhaps some of the edge is taken off by the more bitter chocolate wafer, but a less acrid cookie sort of defeats the premise of an Oreo Peeps. That should please most people who don’t like Peeps, but if you don’t like avian shaped marshmallow to begin with, why buy these? The golden wafered neon pink treat is more authentic to the Walter White-esque chemical laden party in your mouth that animalistic marshmallow treats are in their Pink Sky form.

 

Look, no one has ever eaten a Peep with knife and fork, pinky out, while adopting a pretentious British accent as they drone on about its sophisticated and subtle flavor profile. This is ‘Merca damn it, and I want to taste the chemical cocktail as it garrotes my violently thrashing taste buds like a Dexter guest star. In the end if you don’t like Peeps, you’ll probably be more into 2018 Right Peeps Oreo factory take but still not fall in love. If you liked the Left Factory’s golden Oreo Peeps, then you won’t like the new one’s as much, but they are still enjoyable. Either way, this is a peep show I’m into.

Chomp Factor:

Purple Peep’s Factory Chompiness: 7 Jedi-Klingon’s out of 10

 

Yellow Peep’s Factory Chompiness: 8 R2-Data’s out of 10 (more…)

Quick Review: Baskin-Robbins Oreo’N Caramel

Oreo'N Caramel Baskin-Robbin's Ice CreamKeep your “care-a-mel” out of my “karmul.” This is how one ends up with a sore back and told one can keep certain things out of certain other things. Enough stupid sayings such as that spew out of my mouth that I should consider running for president in 2021. Fortunately, I’ll have some tasty dulce de leche meets cookies and cream to comfort me this March. You can find my quick review of Baskin-Robbin’s Oreo’n Caramel Ice Cream over at The Impulsive Buy

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Quick Review: Dairy Queen Mint Oreo Blizzard

Dairy Queen Mint Oreo Blizzard

Look, you can’t go wrong with Oreo cookies and mint, but can you get any less original? You can learn more in my review over at The Impulsive Buy. I’m cool with the St. Patrick’s Day theme treat, but let’s Emeril this bitch up a notch. Why not crib from Burger King for a, probably culturally insensitive, magically delicious Pot o’ Minty Charms Blizzard? Then again, 60% of my body consists of supersaturated cereal milk, so what do I know? 

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Is That a Yoshi Egg in Your Question Block Cake, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Question Block Cake
Images courtesy of the amazing wildlifebycyrene

The Mushroom Kingdom is a magical place… minus the constant peril of kidnapping, being swallowed whole by ravenous dinosaurs, or literally being chased and vaporized by the sun— Idyllic.

 

That is until we threw a grad party for my sister as a showcase for the spinoff I’m pitching to the Food Network—Yan Sure as Fuck Can’t Cook. All this is to say, I know I suck. Case in my point, this Question Block cake.

Question Block Cake
A question block navel gazing is a whole new level of inception

My creations taste good, usually, but look at that thing! I’ve seen better looking orange chicken after a month in back-of-fridge purgatory. (As if orange chicken survives for longer than 5 minutes when I’m around; that shit is Ketracel-white deep-fried in Kasa oil.)

 

I share though because when I go looking for tasty or clever ideas, I have to wade through such captivating tales as little Billy’s potty training oopsy or William Shakespaw’s spa day at Shampoodles. Wouldn’t you rather see the result of a Food Network Challenge meets Darwin Award chock full of awful puns and dated pop culture references than read about toilet paper cozies?

 

I do this so for you, dear reader, so you can feel good about your product no matter how disastrous the finished good. Yeah, I do it on purpose, let’s go with that…

 

On to the menu:

 

  • Hot Yoshicoa: White chocolate melted and mixed into half and half with mint extract
  • Question Block Cake: A boxed yellow cake and tub frosting we adapted from Nerdy Nummies
  • Yoshi Egg Brownie Pop: A giant Oreo truffle-esque cream cheese brownie coated in almond bark and made to look like a Yoshi egg… if you are legally blind.

 

The party started with a round of Mario Kart: Shaun White edition… if you swap the karts for dollar store sleds clipped with hand decorated Super Mario character cards and Shaun White for a bunch of idiots incapable of staying on said sleds for more than a few seconds. So, basically, nothing at all like either of those things.

Question Block Cake
All art courtesy of my sister who painted them all by hand as a gift.

Question Block Cake Wario

Stage appropriately set, let’s talk cake. Now, you have to use your imagination a bit as I have the artistic ability and attention to detail of a kindergartener after five bowls of Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs bathed in Four Loko. But that’s all part of the hand crafted rustic charm! At least, that’s what I tell myself so I can continue being able to look in the mirror long enough to shave without having to shower cry afterward.

Question Block Cake

Despite the photographic evidence to the contrary, the focus was on the decoration and not the flavor. As this was for my sister who’s taste for lemon is inversely proportional to her love for Yoshi, we cheated with a boxed Betty Crocker Yellow Cake and yellow tub frosting and a pack of white fondant. Six 6×6 pans from 2 boxes and 2 tubs of frosting later, we had our base to work from. We free handed the cutting with a knife as is abundantly clear by the Block of Deleano Pilaza (wow that was awful, I’m leaving it). Anyone who has been appropriately horrified by my pumpkin carving would have predicted this result.

 

Coring and frosting the cakes was actually pretty simple despite my proclivity for screwing things up, and it did not take more than 15 minutes to assemble the cake. We cut question marks and blocks from fondant with the aid of a  printed 8×11 stencil, if you don’t treat your hand like an angry thwomp to Mario’s fondant face by pressing down as hard as you can, the paper won’t stick.

 

As for the coins in the original recipe, a Wario cake this is not. When a lady loves dinosaurs and brownies, you give her a fucking pan of brownies injected with gobs of cream cheese all encased in white candy coating and bits of green candy melts for the finishing touch. You will not have a lot of room to work with if you decide to go with my Yoshi Egg surprise, so if you don’t plan ahead by dropping your food on the floor like me, you probably only need about half the pan. The rest should be promptly shoveled into your face like you’re auditioning for the lead role in a Fat Princess sequel. Brownie me please!

Question Block Cake Yoshi Egg Brownie

Protip: Save time cutting the bottom off of your brownies by not dropping them onto the floor!

 

Like A Bowser Protip: But if you do, you will quickly discover why dogs are man’s best friend because they will love you forever.

 

A word of warning, if I had to do it over again, I would not add the green candy melt chocolate after the bark hardened. As a couple of the dots fell off, I would add the green melts as I applied the bark coating. After the egg was finished, I propped it up and pooled bark at the base to create a stand. This proved to be the one intelligent thing I did in this process as it made standing the egg inside of the cake much easier. Quick insertion (that’s what she said) and a bit of a dome from the egg that was just a litttttlllleeeee too big (that’s what he said) and Bobomb’s your uncle, it was done.

Question Block Cake

One should not expect to cut the brownie with the cake, we gingerly removed it and sliced them separately. None of this was pretty, but it was as tasty as Luigi is lame— phenomenally.

 

If you attempt anything similar let me know, I’d love to hear how you didn’t screw it up!

Question Block Cake Wario Sled

I leave you with a video of the events that occured on the rainbow road of snowy hills…

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Quick Review: Baskin-Robbins Love Potion #31

Baskin-Robbins Love Potion #31

 

People are far too judgmental. Should a person be ostracized for eccentric tastes? Should a man or woman be shunned by society and forced to live a solitary existence because they happen to own an angry inflatable love doll that looks like Spock? I say no! I say a Klingon Bat’leth shaped dildo is a sign of a playful and adventurous soul. Forgetting said article of nerdy love fun in one’s carryon luggage should not result in being added to the No Fly List! Happened to a friend… If you’d like to learn more about why said friend might need the aid of a Love Potion, find my review of Baskin-Robbins Love Potion #31 at The Impulsive Buy. It’s magic may be limited to the realm of taste (of which I could clearly use some help), but that’s good enough for me. (more…)