Dairy Queen Summer Blizzard Menu

Summer Blizzard Menu

I really can’t complain about my job. There are few things better than being a staff writer whose job description is “write funny stuff about new Dairy Queen ice cream.” Well, in my case the funny is optional. Still, Dairy Queen must love me because they are making my job even more dairy delightful with their Summery Blizzard Menu. I sacrificed my 6 pack to bring you a 4-pack of reviews. You can find the complete reviews over at The Impulsive Buy.

Jurassic Chomp: Not surprisingly fantastic in my book as 3 of my packs are, in fact, made of peanut butter, chocolate, and ice cream.

The only dud among the group is the Summer Berry Cheesecake, and it’s still decent.

Dairy Queen Summer Berry Cheesecake Blizzard Treat
At least its berry pretty

 

The Cotton Candy sucker punches your sweet tooth.

Cotton Candy Blizzard
Do they make cotton vegetables…

Jurassic Chomp packs enough peanut butter and chocolate to choke a PMS’ing T-Rex.

Dairy Queen Jurassic Chomp Blizzard
3 of my packs are, in fact, made of peanut butter, chocolate, and ice cream.

S’mores will spare more than one marshmellon from burned burned at the stick this summer.

Dairy Queen S'mores Blizzard
There’s graham in them thar’ blizzards!

 

 

In closing, I love my job.

Dairy Queen Summer Blizzard Menu

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Quick Review: Dairy Queen Summer Berry Cheesecake Blizzard

Dairy Queen Summer Berry Cheesecake Blizzard

Dairy Queen Summer Berry Cheesecake Blizzard Treat
Berry nice.

I’m just an NPC in The Simulation trying to get Ed Sheeran’s cheesecake. That will make more sense if you read my review of the Summer Berry Cheesecake Blizzard over at The Impulsive Buy. One of the two new blizzards on DQ’s Summer Blizzard Menu, this one doesn’t live up to it’s billing like the Titanosaurically flavor packed Jurassic Chomp , the North Pole version of S’mores, the beautifully sweet Cotton Candy or even the mildly disappointing Peanut Butter Flavor of the Month. Still, if I get to keep eating the cheesecake part of this dessert, count me in Ed. (more…)

Quick Review: Dairy Queen Jurassic Chomp Blizzard

Dairy Queen Jurassic Chomp Blizzard

Dairy Queen Jurassic Chomp Blizzard
Peanut butter will find a way.

UPDATE (7/7/18)

It is my duty as a responsible devourer of all things chocolate and peanut butter to provide this FSA (Fatty Service Announcement). My wife and I both find that asking for chocolate soft serve in place of the standard vanilla makes Jurassic Chomp even more dinomite. At no additional charge! Is there any chocolate better than free? My original post follows below.


 

I’m not sure why dinosaurs are so cranky, but every movie shows them wracking up pinball-esque amounts of economic damage and munching on vacuous tourist-mcnuggets.  It just doesn’t make any sense as Dairy Queen seems to think that dinos are inextricably linked to peanut butter and chocolate. With 2015’s Jurassic Smash featuring peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookie dough and choco chunks, and the new Jurassic Chomp Blizzard mixing buckeye’s and fudge topping, there’s no excuse to be so pissed off.

Jurassic Chomp Dino's love Peanut Butter and Chocolate
                Clever girl                   Photo courtesy of Wildlife by Cyrene. Find more of her amazing work at wildlifebycyrene.wordpress.com

Maybe their local DQ was out of buckeye’s and they were stuck eating the sub-par Summer Berry Cheesecake sibling to this Summer Menu Blizzard or the Peanut Butter Cookie Dough April Flavor of the Month.

I know no matter what idiotic thing has come out of my mouth chocolate, especially combined with peanut butter, will soothe my raging T. rex of a wife.  And if you can’t trust Dairy Queen for accurate paleontological trivia, who can you trust? Find my review of the smashing Jurassic Chomp over at The Impulsive Buy.

Can’t get to DQ right now and still need your peanut butter and chocolate fix? Check out this homemade Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch Milkshake. Still not enough? Here’s how to make your own Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Reese’s Puff’s Peanut Butter! We spared no expense. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some chocolate covered peanuts on the way home… (more…)

Quick Review: Dairy Queen Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Blizzard

Dairy Queen Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Blizzard
Dairy Queen Peanut Butter TOPPING and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard

Releasing alongside two new Summer Blizzard flavors Jurassic Chomp and Summer Berry Cheesecake, Dairy Queen has thrown down the gauntlet and issued a bad pun challenge. Their website attempts to force your eyeballs to roll right out of your head by informing you that you have “dough-cisions, dough-cisions” to make. Supposedly, it’s hard to choose between the new Peanut Butter Cookie Dough and the classic Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzards.

To them I say, dough you know who you are messing with? If there’s one thing I am good at, it’s being bad at everything I do. Head shaking hubristic fail aside, it is not, in fact, an over-kneaded dough-cision to make. If you are a fan of DQ’s traditional cookie dough then you probably doughn’t want this new one, and if peanut butter is your jam, you won’t be left dough-eyed either. Take that DQ! Find my full review, and more stupid!, over at The Impulsive Buy (more…)

Quick Review: Dairy Queen Mint Oreo Blizzard

Dairy Queen Mint Oreo Blizzard

Look, you can’t go wrong with Oreo cookies and mint, but can you get any less original? You can learn more in my review over at The Impulsive Buy. I’m cool with the St. Patrick’s Day theme treat, but let’s Emeril this bitch up a notch. Why not crib from Burger King for a, probably culturally insensitive, magically delicious Pot o’ Minty Charms Blizzard? Then again, 60% of my body consists of supersaturated cereal milk, so what do I know? 

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