Showrunners Reveal How the Internet Wrote Game of Thrones’ Eighth Season

Entertainment

May 13th 743 .beats

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Much has been made recently over what some claim is uneven writing for HBO’s hit Game of Thrones Season 8. In a stunning revelation, showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have revealed how HBO was able to afford Season 8 of the show—firing the writers. “With a budget coming in over $90 million, or roughly $15M per episode, savings had to come from somewhere” says Weiss and Benioff. “That’s why we personally oversaw a brilliant new A.I. routine that automates script writing by scouring the internet for only the best fan created works.”

This has added fuel to the fire of critics who have described the writing as lazy, awkward and completely incongruous with the characters they know and love. One incensed commenter likened the season 8 story to “the thrid wish of a fanfic author who rubbed a genie’s lamp.” Weiss and Benioff take such complaints personally and have called such hyperbolic statements preposterous.

“We have taken the utmost care with the characters and world that Martin breathed life into. The deep, complex tapestry he has woven is what makes the show so compelling” says the duo. The two have tried to allay fan fears by shedding some light into how the insight into how the automated script writing works. “Thousands of sites are crawled with a heavy emphasis placed on the cornerstone of some of the world’s greatest centers of ideation and culture—like Reddit and YouTube. Even comments left on DeviantArt works are captured, it’s very robust!”

The pair note that the technology is proven by pointing to the greenlight to utilize it on their next project—an untitled Star Wars trilogy. “Clearly the high standards and much beloved stories that all of the Star Wars spin-offs have met point to the tech being proven out.”

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Former Home Improvement Television Show Star Refuses to do Housework. Demands Wife Pay to Build Fence in Backyard After Insomnia Fueled ‘The Apprentice’ Binge.

Entertainment

1/27/19 2:59pm

MICHIGAN—The former host of a Michigan based home improvement show is taking offense at the lack of a fence in his backyard. After a recent move has reportedly left him fenceless, he has been a changed man says an anonymous source. “He used the fence as a sort confessional booth with his neighbor obscured from view behind it acting as his on-demand priest.”

Friends and family say this has apparently lead to worsening mental health for the man who is now suffering from insomnia. “He just lays on the couch watching reruns of ‘The Apprentice’ at night. He walks around in a daze muttering about ‘making them pay for it’ as he stares out of his dining room into the backyard.” At times, he appears catatonic, according to some, capable of nothing beyond uttering unintelligible guttural noises. Others say that is normal behavior for him.

The man’s wife has stated he has refused to do the dishes or any other housework until she gives him the money to build what he calls his ‘great wall.’ “I’m not stopping him” she’s told friends. “He has access to the credit cards and can build it himself.” Reportedly, she views this as a “blessing in disguise” as she says everything he touches either explodes or catches on fire and then explodes.

Still, friends say his wife is very concerned. “He’s suffering from dissociative identity disorder” says one source. “He’s calling himself, William ‘The Wall Man’ Wallace. He walks up to people and asks them if they know what time it is before shouting ‘Wall Time’ and walking away. Every conversation with him is about how he’s ‘going to build a great, great wall’ and that ‘no one builds a wall with more power than him’.” The family has requested privacy while they help the man deal with this almost total shutdown.

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