Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch
I missed Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch during it’s first magical run in 2014 and 2015. People’s reverence for it bordered on mason jar full of toenail clipping levels of creepiness. Now I have the chance to rectify this crime against my taste buds as It’s back for this holiday season! The box art appears to be the same, and it’s merilly magnificent. I’m a sucker for holiday packaging, and the adorable Crazy Squares decked out in santa hats and rocking stockings for pants are right up my alley. It almost makes me feel bad that I’m about to embark on a milky quest to purge this world of Crazy Square kind. Almost.
You see, Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is amazing. Dry, it is every bit as good as it’s supporters purport. It puts all of the other bakery based treats like the good Capn’s or Kellogg’s takes that I’ve tried to shame. With General Mills jacking into my small and easily pliable mind (explaining why I’ve indulged my wife’s borderline crazy cat lady status) the only thing I can think of is a sugar cookie light on the sugar.
A less sugary, sugar cookie might sound like a faux pas, but it works very well in Toast Crunch form. Whereas the OG bah humbug Cinnamon Toast Crunch is drenched in hyper sweet deliciousness, Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is a bit more restrained. It’s what I envision Santa’s milk mate of choice would taste like if last minute Nice List bribes were placed out the morning after I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Milk certainly changes the flavor, but I found I preferred it dry as leche leeches some of the magic and sweetness—at least in my nut based milk experiments. Meanwhile, it makes a fantastic greek yogurt mix-in, and a peanut buttered toast companion imparts a bit of a peanut butter cookie vibe. I guess 1+1 does equal 2. There’s that college degree paying off again
Take it from a man who crumbled Oreo’s into a bowl and doused them in milk before Oreo O’s rebirth, this is a more socially acceptable way to eat cookies for breakfast. In fact, I will share the uncomfortably warm take that Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is superior to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Will you agree? Maybe, but it’s worth trying even if you give me the same incredulous look my wife did from beneath her purring blanket. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to look into vacuum sealing cereal in case it’s another few years before I see my beloved toast shaped cookies again.
The Chomp: Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch
Chompiness: 9 bowls of Santa who looks kinda like the neighbor bribes out of 10