Showrunners Reveal How the Internet Wrote Game of Thrones’ Eighth Season

Entertainment

May 13th 743 .beats

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Much has been made recently over what some claim is uneven writing for HBO’s hit Game of Thrones Season 8. In a stunning revelation, showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have revealed how HBO was able to afford Season 8 of the show—firing the writers. “With a budget coming in over $90 million, or roughly $15M per episode, savings had to come from somewhere” says Weiss and Benioff. “That’s why we personally oversaw a brilliant new A.I. routine that automates script writing by scouring the internet for only the best fan created works.”

This has added fuel to the fire of critics who have described the writing as lazy, awkward and completely incongruous with the characters they know and love. One incensed commenter likened the season 8 story to “the thrid wish of a fanfic author who rubbed a genie’s lamp.” Weiss and Benioff take such complaints personally and have called such hyperbolic statements preposterous.

“We have taken the utmost care with the characters and world that Martin breathed life into. The deep, complex tapestry he has woven is what makes the show so compelling” says the duo. The two have tried to allay fan fears by shedding some light into how the insight into how the automated script writing works. “Thousands of sites are crawled with a heavy emphasis placed on the cornerstone of some of the world’s greatest centers of ideation and culture—like Reddit and YouTube. Even comments left on DeviantArt works are captured, it’s very robust!”

The pair note that the technology is proven by pointing to the greenlight to utilize it on their next project—an untitled Star Wars trilogy. “Clearly the high standards and much beloved stories that all of the Star Wars spin-offs have met point to the tech being proven out.”

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Eyebook Paying Underage Hobbits to Install Spying App Calls Dark Lord Sauron’s Motives into Question.

Business

1/30/19 7:29pm

MORDOR—With recent shocking revelations that Eyebook is spying on it’s users, Middle-earther’s are beginning to question whether the Dark Lord Sauron has their best interests at heart. The latest scandal of the beleaguered platform asserts that Eyebook is giving away Lembas of the Month subscriptions to underage hobbits who agree to install an ‘Eyebook research VPN’ on their palantir.

This app allows the Eye of Sauron to focus on all users at once—capturing every action at all times. “Your data couldn’t be in safer hands” top executive Saruman the White says. “This isn’t the overreaching, omnipresent, total invasion of user privacy elven alarmists would have you believe. Tracking every movement, action, and even thought of users allows Eyebook to enhance their experience by serving more relevant ads” says Saruman. “This is a win/win situation.”

When asked about accusations of orcish advertising intended to influence the recent Gondorian succession, Saruman denied knowledge of any such activities.

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