Camp Little Debbie Snacks
I never attended a summer camp, but if I had, you damn well know my Happy Meal slamming ass would have been at Camp Little Debbie. As a pictures worth a thousand words, this campfire diorama constructed from Little Debbie treats explains why I weighed 300 lbs. An edible clearing deep in the woods that that lies somewhere between a commercial and my wet dream.
As you may have surmised, this is less about reviewing any particular treat and more of an excuse to make bad jokes and show off the amazing work of Wildlife By Cyrene. These were done in 2017, and the only unique flavor was the S’mores Cake Rolls at the time. Feel free to scroll down if you are only interested in my review of them below. You won’t hurt my feelings. Really, I numb the pain of shame and self loathing with sugar and chocolate. 300 lbs. remember? Want proof? Here’s more silly food “art” in a delicious dinosaur themed pixel package.
Mowing through boxes of junk food is enough to fill my life with meaning. The kids on the boxes however seem to be too skinny and happy to rely solely on sugar fueled entertainment. What sort of activities is camp counselor Debbie leading?
- Nutty Buddy Raft Building (I’d drown as my raft would be eaten halfway across the river).
- Brownie Animal Track Identification ( I think even I could manage this one since these critters are born with their names on their feet).
- S’more’s Log Fire-Starting (although the real competition is not eating your fire that is conveniently MADE of s’mores flavored cake).
- Happy Camper Cake Logging (if tree’s were made of cake with creme filling sap and bark made of frosting, I’d make Paul Bunyan look like a tree hugger).
In 2017, Little Debbie had not sprinkled her delicious dust on the standard fare to create dark chocolate Nutty Buddys or the Strawberry Filled Cookies. Now that I know they exist, I’m in danger of working off some of my cake induced rolls as I beat feet to find them as soon as this is done.
Animal Tracks are just fudged iced Cosmic Brownie’s that have been trampled by wildlife and lost their sprinkles. One would think that might be a tad unsanitary, but if earthen tracks tasted this good my not so clever nickname would be Joe Dirt. They pack the moist fudgy, cocoaey and somewhat waxy but I don’t even carey, goodness I know and love. Despite their supposed rarity, our pack contained an entire Big Foot (Big Feet?) family.
The 2017 Happy Camper Cakes were simply yellow cake Christmas Trees painted green. I have to admit I was disappointed they weren’t the green red velvet Christmas Tree Cakes that are my personal favorite. Still, the yellow cake is as delicious as always, and I’m sure it’s true of the far more dull white shrubs in 2018.
S’mores Cake Rolls
It should come as no surprise that despite the clever packaging the only new flavor shown here is the S’mores Cake rolls. From my notes in 2017, it’s pretty straightforward. Let me ask you a few questions.
Do you love your s’mores but hate graham flavor?
Does ooey, gooey marshmallowey goodness get in your way?
Do melted milk chocolate fingers and a mustache ruin your experience?
Well then do I have news for you! Little Debbie S’mores Cake Rolls ditch everything that makes a s’more a s’more with a directly proportional taste. It takes the classic S’mores flavor and ignores most of the marshmallow, chocolate and all of the graham flavor that gets in the way of the campfire classic. That’s right, no longer will any of the 3 key flavors detract from your enjoyment of s’mores…
I am exaggerating a bit as these aren’t bad. The cake rolls are a little dryer than I like, and there is a bit of subtle s’mores flavor if your tongue squints really hard, but it is more of an after thought. Of course if your taste buds can squint, an underwhelming s’mores flavor is the least of your worries. You should probably put the cake roll down and see your doctor immediately.
If you are looking for a unique cake take on s’mores you are likely to be disappointed. But if you love Little Debbie cake rolls, and like the idea of a very mild s’mores flavor then you will be a happy… snacker! (Bet you didn’t see that twist coming).
The Chomp: Little Debbie Summer Camp S’mores Cake Rolls
Chompiness: 6 Inceptioned s’mores campfire logs out of 10