“The blade itself incites to deeds of violence.”
― Homer, The Odyssey
Fortunately for us in Ubisoft’s latest murder tourism simulator simulator (you are in an animus after all), blades are aplenty. In this brilliant new feature, I’ll be updating my review notes as I progress through the game (or Porgress if you are a sad, sad Star Wars addict and animal lover like my wife). The idea being that since I have no idea how long this behemoth of a game will take to slay, I will give you a running log of my incredibly insightful takes you can’t find anywhere else! Or at the least, it makes me feel like less of a bum, and you might get a chuckle or two.
Be warned: THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD
I’m about 10 or so hours into the game. So far digging the theme and environments more than Origins. Origin’s Egypt is a compelling backdrop, but seas of sand aren’t as appealing as seas of actual sea surrounding the lands of olives (not the Garden, that’s Italy), gyros (not the spinning thing) and Yogurt (Do you even lift brah?)..
I chose Kassandra to start as I was severely unimpressed with the voice acting I heard from Alexios from quick looks and such. That and Xena was a formative figure in my childhood, so I have a weak spot for badass Greek warrior women. And Aphrodite. For the love of chocolate lasagna Alexandria Tydings as Aphrodite is the living embodiment of the Goddess of Love. Her character is very aptly named as she certainly taught me what love is… Annnnyyyyyway, the story with Kassandra has been solid. I’m invested in her, and the mystery surrounding her family.
I’ve seen many complaints of bloat and fatigue from Ubisoft’s trademarked map vomit, but so far not a problem not a problem for me. The jobs one receives from the boards in towns are mostly standard rpg tropes. Think ancient TaskRabbit and/or moonlighting Orkin Man. They are mind numbingly facile but optional.
The nemesis system light with the bounty hunters has been fun, very satisfying to murder other mercenaries and see them crossed off. That said, I don’t get much in the way of personality from them hence the nemesis light.
Ship has been oddly disappointing, but I felt that way with Rogue as well. Black Flag was magical for me, and it just hasn’t been as engaging since. Doesn’t bode well for Skull and Bones. The lieutenant system has not been compelling and so far also seems unnecessary.
Odessa= Ancient Greek Paris Hilton and can fuck right off.
Also, the cure for ED in ancient Greece seems worse than the problem itself…
“Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story
of that man skilled in almost no ways of wit nor funny.”
-Me, Ripping Off Homer, The Odyssey
Want more A/C? You can read my Assassin’s Creed, Animal Crossing crossover taking the world by doldrum here, Assassin’s Crossing: Isulation. (more…)