March 5th 2019 9:36pm
STOCKHOLM—THQ Nordic PR and Marketing Director Phillipp Brock was awarded the Nobel prize today for his actions to expose and abolish hate crimes and the sexual exploitation of minors.
Brock lulled users into a false sense of confidence by playing along with an AMA he held on the controversial imageboard 8chan. “Maintaining the guise of a morally bankrupt, despicable corporate shill under a barrage of distasteful comments took great moral fiber” said the Nobel Prize voting committee.
In one exchange, a commenter shared “Please don’t censor any games nor appeal to the SocJus crowd, you guys are doing fine as is.” “Thanks! We’ll try to stay that way” Brock responded.
When queried about the state of his company’s popular ‘Destroy all Humans’ franchise, which sees players assuming the role of an extraterrestrial sent to conquer Earth, Brock quipped “We work it like an alien prostitute.”
After giving time for a controversy to brew in order to draw attention to his cause, Brock then took decisive action by declaring:
“I do not condone child pornography, white supremacy, or racism in any shape or form.”
“Brock displayed an Oscar worthy performance” said one committee member. “Dr. King himself would have heralded this man as a revolutionary visionary” said another. “Brock’s willingness to play along with the comments he despised all to facilitate his bold condemnation is heroic. We would all do well to emulate this paragon of equality and justice.”