Review: Mom’s Making Cookies Baskin Robbins

(Mom’s Makin’ Cookies)

*It may not be the flavor of the month, but it is available again at Baskin Robbins. See my original review from 2018 below:

Are you a cookie dough or a cookie doughn’t kinda person? Me, I’m the kinda guy who takes a sauna on the inside of an active volcano. You know, one of those dirty barbarians who lives life on the edge by devouring raw cookie dough— flour and egg be damned! At least I’ll die with a smile on my fat, chocolate smeared face. Fortunately, Baskin Robbins is indulging my delicious death wish with May’s returning Flavor of the Month, Mom’s Making Cookies Ice Cream. This much beloved treat says f*ck the oven and let your stomach do the baking of the brown sugar flavored ice cream filled with chocolate chip cookie pieces, chocolate chips and a cookie dough batter ribbon. If I ever win a ribbon, it will absolutely be made of cookie dough batter. And I won’t unless they start handing them out for awful puns.

Mom's Making Cookies Baskin-Robbins Full
Doughn’t you want me baby?

Let’s start at the base of this cookie shaped mountain with the brown sugar ice cream.  I would probably put it on par with Baskin Robbins mascarpone in the “I’m going to be on the treadmill for a few extra hours tomorrow” level of deliciousness. It’s rich and buttery without every being too sweet. Let’s be real though, this flavor was created by someone who has, on more than one occasion, passed out on the floor of a bathroom with one arm draped across the toilet loosely clutching a syringe with nothing but liquefied cookie bits left inside.

Like you’ve never done lines of Keebler Special K…

That’s right, Baskin Robbin’s hired the Cookie Monster as a flavor scientist. Our lab coat donning blue bud then proceeded to grudgingly allow them to include a little bit of ice cream with his cup o’ cookies. The chocolate chip cookie pieces aren’t mom’s fresh out of the oven cookie crack, but they are decently sized and passably good in an “off the shelf chewy cookie” way.

Mom's Making Cookies Baskin-Robbins 2018 Spoon 0
A spoonful of cookies helps the diabetes go down.

The cookie dough ribbon mixes particularly well with the brown sugar flavored base, and the grit of the dough reminds me of brown sugar crystals. That is heavenly in my world which revolves around a molten cookie dough core, but the poor unfortunate souls who have not seen the light may be put off. The chocolate chips do not bring a unique taste element, but they do contribute a nice chocolate snap in the textural department while not detracting from the dish. A masterstroke that only the deft hand of one who is truly the monster of cookies can wield.

Mom's Making Cookies Baskin-Robbins 2018 Half
As you can see, I totally inhaled.

Mom’s Making Cookies Ice Cream masterfully walks the line between chasing the cookie dragon and mindless marketing ploy. All of the elements work well together, and if anything, I would like a little of the cookie dough ribbon… But I’m much further along in my cookiediction than most.

Cookie Monster’s love letter to CookiEchidna this Mother’s Day certainly has me feeling the love.


Chompiness: 8.5 Snorted Cookie Lines out of 10 (more…)

Game of Thrones Finale: I Kissed My Aunt, and I liked It.

My what big wings you have

Thar Be Dragons (and SPOILERS) below:

Before we say goodbye To Game of Thrones, I am curious what left people a pile of molten valyrian steel, and what left you as cold as the Night King’s heart.

Personally, I wasn’t entirely satisfied. Not because of how things ended, but how we got there. I feel the character development and dialog declined significantly post books and someone was hammering on the fast forward plot button.

Setting nitpicks aside:

Fire:

  • The foreboding tone set at the beginning with General Hux’s, I mean Dany’s speech
  • Jon’s actions and fate
  • Small Council scene
  • Sansa shutting her uncle down
  • Brienne’s appointment and completion of Jamie’s entry and Podrick’s promotion
  • Drogon’s mourning and actions
  • Way the “wheel was broken” establishing an elective monarchy
  • The idea of Dany Breaking Bad

Ice:

  • Never bought Jon and Dany’s love story. No development or room to breathe
  • Execution of Darth Dany’s turn to the darkside
  • Nobles supporting Bran’s election to the throne out of nowhere and with no discussion. Maybe he warged into all of them.

Overall, I’m fairly dissatisfied with everything but the major plot points this season and most of last season. Funny that, that is the only part that really came from Martin. 😉

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Showrunners Reveal How the Internet Wrote Game of Thrones’ Eighth Season

Entertainment

May 13th 743 .beats

Game of Thrones Logo

New York—New York

Much has been made recently over what some claim is uneven writing for HBO’s hit Game of Thrones Season 8. In a stunning revelation, showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have revealed how HBO was able to afford Season 8 of the show—firing the writers. “With a budget coming in over $90 million, or roughly $15M per episode, savings had to come from somewhere” says Weiss and Benioff. “That’s why we personally oversaw a brilliant new A.I. routine that automates script writing by scouring the internet for only the best fan created works.”

This has added fuel to the fire of critics who have described the writing as lazy, awkward and completely incongruous with the characters they know and love. One incensed commenter likened the season 8 story to “the thrid wish of a fanfic author who rubbed a genie’s lamp.” Weiss and Benioff take such complaints personally and have called such hyperbolic statements preposterous.

“We have taken the utmost care with the characters and world that Martin breathed life into. The deep, complex tapestry he has woven is what makes the show so compelling” says the duo. The two have tried to allay fan fears by shedding some light into how the insight into how the automated script writing works. “Thousands of sites are crawled with a heavy emphasis placed on the cornerstone of some of the world’s greatest centers of ideation and culture—like Reddit and YouTube. Even comments left on DeviantArt works are captured, it’s very robust!”

The pair note that the technology is proven by pointing to the greenlight to utilize it on their next project—an untitled Star Wars trilogy. “Clearly the high standards and much beloved stories that all of the Star Wars spin-offs have met point to the tech being proven out.”

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‘Oh Yeah!’ Trump’s Border Wall Threatened by Tangy Terrorist

Politics

April 21st 249 .beats

Washington D.C—White House

The Trump administration is labeling a little known nor understood creature as the most serious risk to national security today. The problem, sources say, is his dedication to defeating the pinnacle of United States defense technology—what some call Trump’s ‘Great Wall.’

Dubbed Operation Yello, the president is vowing to eliminate the danger to what he says is a much needed barrier against pernicious border security threats. The envisioned wall is billed as a roughly 2,000 mile state of the art safeguard that will ostensibly prevent terrorist operations on US soil. As the sole threat capable of penetrating the ultimate of defensive structures, it is no surprise that the mysterious figure known as ‘K-Man’ has been labeled public enemy number one.

Trump’s latest tweet storm sheds light on to his priorities:

“I’m going to keep America safe from the real threats!”

“Climate change? Wear a coat! Hackers? Read a book!”

“Fake news from loser and haters. The real threat is the lazy, poor brown people who want to steal our jobs, and our women!”

“We’ll use the biggest guns—huge guns, the best guns— to hunt down this terrorist, and then I’ll build the most humongous wall—the best wall that’s ever been built. No one else has ever built a wall like this, how could it possibly fail?”


Next Week:
Is the Prez eating Pez or is his “Great Wall”  the only thing he’s erecting? Trump spied popping blue “candy” at easter egg hunt.

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THQ Nordic’s Phillipp Brock Wins Nobel Peace Prize for 8chan AMA

Politics

March 5th 2019 9:36pm

Nobel Peace Prize Award
Image courtesy of Gusme

STOCKHOLM—THQ Nordic PR and Marketing Director Phillipp Brock was awarded the Nobel prize today for his actions to expose and abolish hate crimes and the sexual exploitation of minors.

Brock lulled users into a false sense of confidence by playing along with an AMA he held on the controversial imageboard 8chan. “Maintaining the guise of a morally bankrupt, despicable corporate shill under a barrage of distasteful comments took great moral fiber” said the Nobel Prize voting committee.

In one exchange, a commenter shared “Please don’t censor any games nor appeal to the SocJus crowd, you guys are doing fine as is.” “Thanks! We’ll try to stay that way” Brock responded.

When queried about the state of his company’s popular ‘Destroy all Humans’ franchise, which sees players assuming the role of an extraterrestrial sent to conquer Earth, Brock quipped  “We work it like an alien prostitute.”

After giving time for a controversy to brew in order to draw attention to his cause, Brock then took decisive action by declaring:

“I do not condone child pornography, white supremacy, or racism in any shape or form.”

“Brock displayed an Oscar worthy performance” said one committee member. “Dr. King himself would have heralded this man as a revolutionary visionary” said another. “Brock’s willingness to play along with the comments he despised all to facilitate his bold condemnation is heroic. We would all do well to emulate this paragon of equality and justice.”

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Introducing Verizon’s New Defense Division: ‘Supporting Our Troops, Like We Do Our First Responders.’

Business

2/7/19 8:27am

NEW YORK—Verizon’s CEO announced the acquisition of the only firearm and ammunition manufacturer in the United States today, Remington Arms. “At Verizon, we want to ensure we deliver the same fantastic service to the men and women defending our shores as we do our first responders like the Santa Clara County Fire Department. During the California wildfires, we saved lives by rapidly removing the data throttling we imposed as soon as they paid us double their original unlimited plans’ cost.”

“Our new defense division subscription model will offer a basic plan that provides unlimited ammunition to each and every soldier. In the unlikely event that a noble warrior goes over the unlimited cap of 100 rounds, we will continue supporting the warfighter with unlimited blanks. Should he or she require more live ammunition than is normally allowed per month, the hero’s of our nation can swipe their personal credit cards at any time and upgrade to the premium ‘Pay to Pop’ plan which provides additional live ammunition for a small $1 per round fee.”

“This new paradigm will enable the warfighter to heroically save as many lives as they can afford— just like Verizon.”

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